Friendship, to me, is one of the most beautiful, and exquisite connections; yet at the same time, I see it as the most misconceived relationships in the world of today. Everyone defines the bond of friendship differently; but most people define a friend as the one who would agree to whatever they say, and approve of whatever they do, despite being right or wrong. No criticism, and no disapproval holds any place at all in friendship, to many.
I define a friend – a true friend, to be more precise, as the one who teaches me a valuable life lesson; the one who enlightens me when my actions exhibit ignorance; the one whose company always leaves me feeling a spirit of positivity and motivation within; and most importantly, as the one to whom I would remember, forevermore.
And it is indeed a reality, that we remember only those people for long who leave a deep impact upon us. You’ll absolutely forget the friend who plays pranks on teachers with you, when you make another friend whose pranks are even nastier. You’re going to abandon the friend who helps you cheat in the exam, as soon as you happen to make a friend whose cheating tricks are cleverer and nifter. As a matter of fact, such people aren’t really worth calling friends.
Your real friend wouldn’t pick on teachers just because you told them to do so and that they’re your friend, but would rather make you realize the respectful position that a teacher holds. Your real friend would motivate you to put in sincere efforts to pass the exam, because the real friend always intends to remove your defects, and not to intensify them by letting them go untreated. Such indeed are the friends you’ll remember and stay attached to throughout your life; you’ll remain beholden to them for helping you improve and refining your personality.
So, to put it simply, a true friend always puts forward honest and constructive advices – which may seem offending at the moment, but in the long run, following those valuable suggestions benefits you to the utmost. The friend who helps you cheat in the exam will never be able to make you realize the importance of effort and determination. The friend who doesn’t stop you when you express your frustration regarding life’s hardships, curse people who troubled you, and just go on complaining about everything, will never make you learn gratitude, patience, and tolerance. A true friend is not at all a yes-man, but a supportive advisor and enlightened teacher.
Now the question here arises – how do you find such friends?
The point is, that productive friendships can only be successfully sought, when you yourself are inclined to practicing self-refinement. A person too arrogant to accept their imperfections and shortcomings, will never embrace the one who tries to make them realize their flaws and wants to help them in eliminating those flaws. The first step to self-refinement, and thus, to making friends that are supportive advisers and enlightened teachers as aforementioned, is knowing that you have certain flaws which need to be fixed sooner or later.
Therefore, in order to increase ourselves in our productivity, level of maturity, and everything which one requires to live a better life, we must choose our friends wisely, and know what sort of friendships are beneficial and those that are detrimental. I’d like to sum up the whole discussion with a Hadith of the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him);
"The likeness of a righteous friend and an evil friend, is the likeness of a (musk) perfume seller and a blacksmith. As for the perfume seller, he may either bestow something on you, or you may purchase something from him, or you may benefit from his sweet smell. And as for the blacksmith, he may either burn your clothes, or you may be exposed to his awful smell."
Differentiating Between Productive And Detrimental Friendships
